It is not news to anyone that the world's most populated country has been undergoing some of the most rapid and incredible changes that any country has ever experienced. Moving from a largely agrarian society not long ago, China is sprinting towards the future. While opening up their economy to capitalism, they are quickly modernizing their cities. Millions of people are being relocated from rural to urban areas. Chinese factories produce what seems like the majority of the world's goods at this point. Their economy is poised to overtake the United States' as the largest in the world very shortly. Even when knowing all of this long before we arrived in China, nothing prepares you for what you witness when visiting the country. It is not uncommon to see tall buildings under construction as far as the eye can see. While driving, lines of 50-story tall housing complexes under construction covered in bamboo scaffolding never seems to stop. I have seen nothing like this anywhere else in the world.

All of this growth and development creates some unintended consequences with which the Chinese society has yet to cope. One of these consequences is the pollution; it is absolutely abysmal. The locals in Beijing asked me what I knew about a rumor that the sky is supposed to be blue and that there is some big bright yellow ball up there, but they were not sure if they should believe it or if it just another piece of government propaganda. I imagine this is what it was like in certain places in the United States and Europe during the Industrial Revolution before we at least partially grasped, and somewhat dealt with, the environmental consequences of things like factories and automobiles. The air quality we experience in the US is far better than it used to be not long ago. However, China is currently in the thick of it. Thick, pea soup-like smog occasionally does depart to reveal the perfectly whitish-greyish sky.

While the economy is skyrocketing and the middle class is growing in numbers and in wealth, there is still a large number of people whom this newfound success has not yet been bestowed upon. Income inequality is growing just as rapidly as the skyscrapers. This is a problem that seems to be increasing in many places in the world, including in the USA. Of course, poverty exists everywhere in the world. As a traveller, you are approached constantly by people in almost every country who are desperately poor. It is really difficult to process, especially at first. It is even harder to figure out how you are supposed to react. It doesn't take long for the realization to set in that there are more poor people in the world than can be helped by every cent you have ever, or will ever, earn in your lifetime. Even Bill Gates would run out of money if he tried to provide for all the needy people in the world. The problem is just so large. However, one day while walking through the dense smog around the streets of Beijing, Proctor and I had one of the most powerful and influential experiences of our lives with an older who had yet to benefit from China's economic miracle.

We were walking up the stairs of an overpass with hundreds of other people trying to get to the other side of what must have been a 10 lane road. As we got to the top of the stairs and started to turn to cross over the traffic streaming below us, a very short old man was standing right in front of me, bowed at the waist with his hands cupped together begging for money. All of the other people were stepping to the side, but when he saw two Westerners on the bridge, he made sure to get right in front of us. His clothes were ripped and dirty; he clearly had not bathed in a long time. But, more importantly, he looked truly desperate. There was a sense of urgency about him that struck me. I quickly decided that this was one person who could not be ignored and I reached into my pocket and pulled out the single bill that I had just put in there. It was 10 yuan (US $1.25) and was change we acquired from a street vendor just a little while earlier. We had bought a drink or some snacks--something unimportant, whatever it was. When I gave the man this bill, he nearly broke into tears. He immediately started bowing over and over while speaking to me in Mandarin of which we did not understand a word. Proctor and I smiled at him, then continued on our way across the bridge. The man followed us the whole way, bowing vigorously over and over with his palms placed together. The reaction from him is something I will never forget and, truthfully, actually startled me. It still knocks the wind out of me every time that I think about it. He clearly was at the end of his rope. He was throwing himself at the mercy of the world. He truly was desperate, and Proctor and I happened to find him at that exact moment.

As we walked away, I noticed an older woman who was lying on a piece of cardboard on the ground. Her clothes were just as old and ratty as the man's. As we approached, it became clear that this woman was horribly disabled with disfigured limbs and that she could not sit up, much less walk. She had a small cup laying in front of her with a few coins in it. Hundreds of people were rushing past her in both directions barely noticing her lying there. As we passed her, the man, who had been walking with us and bowing continuously, stopped and walked over to her. That was when it hit both of us that the woman was his wife. His reaction suddenly made far more sense. We finished crossing the bridge and walked down the stairs on the other side to try to get to our destination, but both Proctor and I were silent trying to process what we had just seen. At the time, we were heading to see some monument before it closed for the evening and we only had a few minutes left. Finally, Proctor turned to me with tears in her eyes and grabbed my hand. I was swelling with emotion before she did that, but could not hold it together once she touched me. She asked me if we should immediately turn around and give them a few more yuan. Foolishly, I said that we were running late already and that we did not have time.

As we continued on our way, we talked about how rare it is to know that the small donation you give someone is going to be used in the best way possible. It is hard to tell if giving money in most situations helps or hurts. Are we just feeding an addiction? Are we teaching people to beg instead of finding a job? Are we getting scammed? In this case, however, it could not have been more clear that these people were desperate. The burden they carried in life was like nothing I will ever experience. Yet, they had each other. Through everything, they stuck together. Clearly, there was an amazing love story between them. They were doing what it took for the two of them to survive. It was humbling to consider all that they had to endure in their lives…especially when I compared it to what I think of as a "hard day" in my world.

After a few more minutes of walking, it started to become apparent that Proctor and I were never going to make it to our destination on time. We decided that the opportunity to actually help some people who would really benefit from a small gift was far more important than seeing yet another of Beijing's amazing sites. We turned around, determined to go back and give that couple a larger donation.

When we arrived back at the bridge, they were gone. In the 30 minutes since we first saw them, they had disappeared. With the desperation the man showed, I imagine that the money we gave them perhaps was enough to provide dinner for the evening, and so immediately afterwards, he must have picked up his wife and carried her to wherever they could eat their next meal. We had lost our opportunity. Our hearts sunk. As I type this now, the same lump I felt in my throat at that moment is once again with me. The sad truth of the matter is that the little I did give, I gave him more in an effort to not be hassled than as any act of true charity. Proctor and were tired, late, and just trying to navigate through Beijing without any trouble. I was selfishly focused on my needs. It happened so quickly and while I did notice his desperation, I also just wanted to go on my way as painlessly as possible. However, after realizing the opportunity to truly help some people in need, we returned. But, we were too late.

It is such a tricky thing. It is so hard to tell if you are ever doing more harm than good in anything you do. I worry about it all the time. However, in this moment, it was clear. For that one second, there was no doubt as to what the right thing to do was. However, I hesitated and the moment was gone. Proctor and I have discussed this story probably a thousand times. Without a doubt, it is the single moment in the years of our travelling around the world that I regret more than anything. In total, we spent 8 days in Beijing and had many amazing experiences, both good and bad. However, that man and his wife will forever be what we remember when we think about our time in that city. Proctor and I have promised each other not to make that same mistake again. We carry this with us every day and are far more in tune now to helping people who truly need it. We feel that this is the only right option. We still owe it to that old, loving couple.